Momiji's Story
by Kinahh
Summary: Standing in the rain, he let yet another moment slip by. Today when he went home, the fact that his mom didn't know him wouldn't change. My version of Momiji's story


"Good Morning Momiji" Mama said cheerfully as my sister, Momo grasped her legs and shyly hid her face in her jacket.

"Morning" I said as I tried to fake a smile. This is bad, she saw me. I'm going to have to apologize to Papa later.

"What are you doing here all by yourself? It's late I'm sure your mom's worried."

"I know I was just heading home. Bye Mrs. Sohma, bye Momo"

"Goodnight Momiji" She said as she walked away, her beautiful long blond hair flowing with the wind.

I slowly turned around and walked the opposite way, taking small steps as I slowly made my way to Shigure's house. I couldn't stop thinking about Mama. Oh, how much I miss her and how much I hate the fact that she doesn't have a clue. You see, Mama doesn't know me and maybe, she never will. I couldn't help to bring myself back to that day. The day I wished never happened, the day that changed my life. I felt a rain drop fall on my soft cheek, and then the rain came pouring down and so did my tears.

* * *

_14 years earlier…_

Those cursed by the zodiac are born two months premature. I can just imagine what it was like for her. She had been married to the man she truly loved and they were having their first child together, she must of been so worried when the baby came early.

The doctor handed me to Mama so that she could hold her first child for the first time, and as soon as she tries to embrace me she watches as I turn into a strange animal. The love in her eyes left and was over come by the fear. Her premature baby boy had turned into a rabbit as soon as she had tried to hold it in her arms.

_2 years later…_

I could hear her yelling and crying from the outside of my closed bedroom door. Ever since mama held me for the first time her life changed. I brought pain into her life, regret, anger and misery. Mothers who have their children cursed by the zodiac either become unnecessarily over protective, or they refuse to accept them as their child. In my Mama's case, she refused.

The curse is not difficult to understand, it's quite easy actually. The hard part is having to live with the curse, because every time someone of the opposite gender tries to hold you, you turn into one of the members of the Chinese zodiac, and because of that Mama resents me. She refused me with her entire body, avoided looking at me but still she was always angry.

Mama was one of the most beautiful women I had ever met, but now she walks around looking like a zombie. She has dark circles under her eyes and she never stops crying. She's hysterical, always yelling at something.

"Momiji, can I come in?" Papa said from the other side of the door.

Before I could say anything he cracked the wooden door open and started to come in. He sat beside me on the small but cozy bed, put his hand around me and started to speak.

"I need to talk to you" I stared at him blankly. "Momiji, Mama is very, very sick, but if she were to forget about you they say she might get better. I know this is painful for you too Momiji, but Papa will love you twice as much to make up for her love. If you love Mama like I do, help us save her."

Tears fell down my eyes, I could say no. I could tell Papa I don't want Mama to forget about me. But I want her to get better, because even though she doesn't love me, even though she can't stand to look at me, I love her, and if it makes her happy I'm willing to sacrifice her knowing me so she can get better. Besides maybe one day, I could tell her who I am and it won't affect her the same way.

* * *

"Goodnight Momiji," Papa said as he tucked me in at night. He kissed my forehead as he said, "I love you, and I'm sorry it had to be this way."

Tonight as I lay in bed, Mama's memories were going to be erased and when I woke up tomorrow morning, the screaming and yelling would be gone but so would Mama. Papa walked out the door and I knew he felt sorry for me, but that's not what I needed, it's not what I wanted. Because having people feel sorry for me was not going to bring Mama back.

I knew I had to see her one last time, before her memories were erased. I waited a while so that the hallways of my home would clear. This way no one could send me back to bed.

When I decided it was safe, I picked myself up and slowly walked towards the door. I cracked the door open and made sure the hallway was clear. I walked down the stairs looking at the small pictures that filled the hallway. When I finally reached Mama's room I peeked inside, hiding myself so that no one would see me.

"Is this what you want?" Hatori, – the one person in the Sohma family who could erase someone's mind – asked Mama. "Do you really want to forget about your only child? Are you sure you won't regret it?"

Mama was crouched on her bed. The way she was sitting, – her head down and her body shaking – made her look small.

She looked up with tears falling down her face, as she said, "Right now my greatest regret is that, that thing ever came out of my body."

Tears poured down my face as I ran back up to my empty room. I could feel a hole in my heart slowly and painfully opening, a hole that would stay in my heart forever. A hole that only Mama could fill.

_Present..._

As I walked in the rain alone, I processed this memory. I guess what I did saved her. She slowly began to get better and after the first couple of months she even started smiling again.

I now watch her from a distance, trying as hard as I can not to be seen. But sometimes things don't go as planned, just like today. Papa gets mad at me, but at the same time he understands.

But you know there's something I believe, I want to try and live my life carrying all my memories with me. And even if those memories are painful, even if they do nothing but hurt me, I want to keep them. Even those memories I sometimes wish I could forget. As long as I carry them with me, as long as I can keep holding on, then someday I'll be strong enough that those memories don't hurt me anymore, and I'll be glad that I have them. That's what I believe with all my heart. That's why all my memories are precious to me I don't think it would be okay to forget a single one.

The hole in my heart, the one I can't ignore, it's still here, always reminding me of that day and how I thought that someday I would be able to tell her who I am. Someday…

I turned around ready to go after her and tell her the truth, but when I saw how happy she was I froze. I couldn't do that to her again. Besides, if she rejected me again I wouldn't be able to deal with the pain.

I walked away, because I knew it wasn't time to fill that hole yet, and maybe that time would never come. I smiled as the rain washed my tears away. I didn't want Mama to forget about me. What I wanted was for her to hold on, but I guess that was selfish of me.

– All credits given to "Fruits Basket", no copyright intended –


End file.
